Almost a week after the first entry of year 2016.. today, I just feel like writing and carving something again on MyWOW.. My World of Wisdom.. In the past six days, lots of things happened.. If I am to say about them all.. yes.. it was so restless.. so tired.. so sick.. but as what I always told myself:
"You have the option to choose... either to take it or leave it.. either to make in in good and positive way or bad and negative way.. either to smile over it or to frown over it.. It is all your decision.. don't blame others.. don't blame anyone.. never argue with Him about why.. because everything happens for a reason.. "
Considering him as one of my personal life coach.. Thank you Dato' Roslan Ab Hamid..
It's okay if I have few friends who really understand me.. It's okay if I have very limited number of close relationships.. It's okay if I don't have all of you besides me.. I will do my level best to manage it 'professionally'... Leave what's personal to what's really personal.. cause those who are truly true to me is always my family members.. we fought with each others, we hated each others, we dislikes each others.. yet.. we always will be together.. accepting each other flaws..
"The older I get, the more I understand that it's okay to live a life others don't understand.."
Smile and keep moving forward.. I can't wait to be at home tomorrow.. wish I'm there already.. (Y_Y)
It is already 3rd September, yet, this is the very first entry for the year 2016..
One of not so achievable target.. *sigh*
Life is never so dull for the past previous twelve months.. tonnes of things happened that should be shared and carved in MyWOW.. My World of Wisdom.. I don't wanna miss a single thing.. yet.. it is always overtaken by my not-so-willing-to-write attitude.. What happened my dear self..? #mohonjadirajin boleh..!?
A Quick Recap of My Life..
Sept 07, 2015.. officially registered as a PhD student at Universiti Malaysia Pahang under supervision of the most generous, the most compassionate husband and wife.. Professor Dato' Dr Hasnah Haron and Professor Dato' Dr Ishak Ismail.. whom I have known since furthering my master study at USM three years ago.. So bless to know them and to learn directly from them..
Sept 15, 2015.. around 4:30 pm.. received text through whatsapp from my uncle.. saying that my closest auntie passed away.. Al fatihah for her.. may Allah forgive her and gather her around those good and selected people.. I did face this sad news of the death of my closest ones who were both my grandmothers and cousin in 1999, 2003 and 2006 respectively.. Yet.. I had never been so 'close' to them.. I kept my distance, I recited Qur'an faraway and did not look upon them even when the white kafan was to cover them all up.. despite being called by my mother and relatives.. but for this time.. I was beside arwah Che Yah.. reciting the Qur'an phrases by phrases.. very near and close.. still until the end, I refused to look at Che Yah's face even though people came and opened the cover in front of me.. I am not strong enough.. that's why Ya Allah.. please.. give me enough time with my parents..
Oct 03, 2015.. a memory carved in MyWOW.. thank you Allah.. now.. counting the days for another month.. please Allah.. grant me the chance to be a better me.. hopefully this year is the last year owning the title of 'single and available'.. if I am to live for the following Oct 2017, may You grant me the partner of my life.. (wishing someone to come, greet my parents and promise them that he will take responsibility of me very soon).. Amin ya Allah...
Oct 30, 2015.. I knew it might be the case but trying hard to believe in other way round.. until this day when Abah told us that he is suffering the stage four cancer.. can't say anything more.. but Allah.. please.. please grant him health.. please grant both my parents longer life.. please grant us enough time to be together without regret, without repentant, without feeling remorseful..
Nov 18, 2015.. one of the best milestones ever.. Alhamdulillah.. thank you Allah.. thank you Ma.. thank you Abah.. thank you my families.. thank you my great teachers and lecturers.. thank you all who had made one of my dreams came true.. my convocation day and waiting for the next convocation.. in shaa Allah.. as per doa abah and the wishes in whatsapp group.. same date: "abah bangga dengan anak2 abah.. along sedang buat phd.. angah unimas kepujian.. abg scond class upper uum.. kakak upm klas pertama insyaallah.. mad captain.. ifah n adik pasti oversea.. abah n maa sangat bangga.. teruskan perjuangan.." it's a big responsibility for me.. Doakan along abah.. in shaa Allah.. along akan jaga adik2 seperti yang abah harapkan..
~hadiah untuk ma dan abah..~
Dec 12, 2015.. Guess what else is the most important date other than this is? Happy anniversary Ma, Abah.. 29 years counting.. huhu I could only send a simple wishes on this date last year.. Hopefully, this year 12/12/2016 we can celebrate more.. the 30 years of being together with each other.. having Along and the other six siblings as part of the miraculous moments in both of your life.. Thank You Ma.. Thank You Abah.. Thank you Allah for giving me this family..
Dec 18, 2015.. it is officially announced that I will be leading the UMP Postgraduate Association which never in my life I would dream for it.. yes, I used to be in a student society's, association and student's movement.. I love to organize events and occasions but I really do not prefer to be the main leader.. And during the Gala Night Dinner on this date, I was invited to be on the stage in front of more than 200 staff and postgraduate students as the new appointed president.. Is it hard? Yes, it is.. It is difficult? Yes, it has never been easy.. Yet since then, I get to know lot of people.. I learn lot of things..
Dec 24, 2015.. Again.. received another sad news through whatsapp.. My childhood friend, my dearest friend whom I shared more than half of my life with.. she had loss her father previous day.. My dear friend, we did not meet until now since that news came from you.. we have known each other since 1996 and I treasure you at the most special place deep in my heart.. truly, I am really sorry and I wish I was there.. I love you and will always love you Sahabatku..
Jan 1, 2016.. New year came.. New targets was made on this very first day.. yet, not even one achieved (*sigh*).. Dear Nazmy Zaki.. you have less than four months to clear up at least some of the aims listed in your 2016..
Jan 16, 2016.. it was Abah's 53 years birthday... huhu Along can't give anything except for the prayers.. May Allah keep borrowing this great man in my life and my families.. May Allah grant the cure for all the sickness and illness..
Feb 27, 2016.. Even we are geographically far apart, family will always connected deep in heart.. Thank you ma, thank you abah.. thank you my dear brother for driving them to UMP after long time I could not be at home.. huhu..
Mac 1, 2016.. Received a screen captured photo by my sister.. our dearest uncle put up the comment of his birthday.. so sad, so touched.. Maafkan kami Pok Mat.. huhu... will be more concerned and sensitive in future..
May 11, 2016.. it's our beloved Ma's birthday.. Happy birthday Ma.. I wished I could be home.. luckily.. on May 14, 2016.. Ma, abah, angah and iffah came to UMP.. Happy to treat them to Seoul Garden Mega Mall, Kuantan.. Alhamdulillah.. ma and abah enjoyed a lot.. happy happy happy.. thanks so much Allah.. I wish I can do even more for them..
Jun 4, 2016.. Organizing PGA Interaction Day.. huhu I knew myself is not a good leader.. a lot to improve on.. Even though, it is quite bold of me to say this.. but... I'm glad.. it was successfully executed within very short period of time.. Thank you so much for the great team work and supports by fellow PGA colleagues..
Jun 16, 2016.. passed one of the PhD milestones i.e. proposal defense.. it was tense, it was highly nervous for me since I did not fully prepare.. Alhamdulillah.. it went alright.. huhu but until now I still did not manage to do the correction.. hoho.. will do it soon..
July 6, 2016.. Alhamdulillah.. celebrating Eidul Fitri.. they said it red, we said it maroon.. hehe.. whatever it was, we were happy and enjoyed so much.. Wishing for another year and years coming, may we always be together.. maybe with a new family member.. huhuhu counting days to days.. still waiting for the mysterious figure.. Rabbi yassir wa la tu'asir.. rabbi tamim bilkhair.. amin ya Allah..
~More than Enough~
Aug 16, 2016.. huhu had only short holiday for Hari Raya.. after arriving at UMP for few weeks.. received the news that one of our dearest teachers fall sickness and was admitted at General Hospital, Terengganu.. huhu planned to visit him since Hari Raya.. Allah loves him more.. May Cikgu Salmi Senik rest in peace.. may Allah forgive all his sins.. may Allah grant him the happiness in life hereafter.. He taught me since I was in primary school, SK Tok Jiring.. He taught all of my six siblings.. May Allah pay all his good deeds and his devotion in shaping us into the useful and valuable human resource.. Alfatihah.. Thank you so much Cikgu.. Tenanglah di sana..
Aug 20, 2016.. Congrats my dear sister for your award of "Leftenan Muda".. so proud of you.. since you were little, you had always dreaming of becoming an officer in uniform.. You might has forgotten this, but.. once I did tell you the story about the Palapes.. where you can pursue your passion for both studies and uniformed unit.. Congrats again.. You did the best far above us.. Every semester scored Dean's List and now another one step forward.. Aye aye captain.. You deserve it..
Yet.. on the very same date.. through the photos posted by Ma in our whatsapp group.. I was crying.. I feel so sad to see our father's condition in one of the photos.. He looked so pale.. He looked so sick.. Ya Allah.. please.. please.. grant him good health.. or at least reduce down the suffers he faced..
"Please Allah.. Grant them good health.."
Aug 26, 2016.. very recently.. my dear sister Iffah was warded and had a three hours operation for appendicitis.. alhamdulillah.. she's good now.. huhu I'm sorry my dear sister for not going back home.. can only keep wishing for you.. See you this Eidul Adha.. on 31 Aug.. had a long talk over the phone with her.. Again.. feeling very bad and sad.. huhu.. she said.. Abah told her that he always pray to Allah to keep away the sickness and illness from us and put them on him.. (Y_Y) huhuhu.. "Allahumma firlana zunubana waliwalidina warhamhuma kama rabbayana soghira.."
Sept 3, 2016.. it's today.. and it's my first entry of the year.. recapitulating every thing, yet, not all can be written here.. huhu.. if there is the best answer to this questions: What is the best and greatest thing I wish for? I would say.. Please Allah.. grant me the calm heart and mind.. that's the only one I need..
Dear everyone.. thank you so much for being part of my life.. you had made a title, a chapter, a paragraph, and a note in my story of life.. My World of Wisdom.. Early birthday wishes to myself: "Be a girl with a mind, a woman with attitude and a lady with class.." Thank you so much Prof for the golden advice today.. I'll be a stronger person in shaa Allah..
For my dearest friends and families whom I have been treated unfairly, unjustly, cruelly, falsely, harshly.. I am really sorry.. I know I was even worse before and I'm trying hard to bring out only the best and positive in me.. honestly.. I never have bad intention and I wish all of us can reside next to each other in the life hereafter.. together in the heavenly park with The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), his dearest families and 'alim ulama.. Please pray for me so that I can be strong, patience and have a big heart..
